Oct 03 2008
Getting to Know Mere Motherhood
Mere Motherhood
I am a typical mom. I have three kids, two girls, 3 1/2 years old and 4 months, and a boy, 2 years old. I stay home with them every day while their father attends dental school in a state far, far away from where we would like to call home. I don’t get near enough sleep and don’t vacuum as much as my floors require. Dinners are sometimes late and occasionally consist of peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches instead of meat and potatoes.
Like most mothers, I look around at other moms at the grocery store or mall and compare myself to them. Who are these mystery women whose children are clean and hair styled with clothes straight from Gap Kids and The Children’s Place? I would say that I compare myself to the moms at the park, but honestly, I don’t get there very often. On Sundays I see all the families lined up on the pews. The children are sitting quietly looking at books or primly devouring store brand Cheerios. Then I look over at my kids who are desperately trying to escape the pew and run up to the pulpit or out the doors.
I occasionally doubt my abilities as a mother, but for the most part I know I’m doing fine. Days are hectic. Days are repetitive. Days are never entirely fun. But neither are they all stressed. Days for me are a gumbo of sorts. I don’t like rice, but without it, it just ain’t gumbo. I love okra, and without that it just isn’t gumbo either. Then there’s everything else that gets thrown in just for fun, laughs, and eye rolls.
Although what I said above is typical of most moms—not always near family, not enough time in the day to get chores done, too little sleep, put others on pedestals, and doubt abilities—that doesn’t mean it’s alright for our health, sanity, or self esteem.
My next three posts will cover what I call Mommy Esteem. What it is, how we lose it, and how we gain it and keep it. I welcome comments and questions as it will help me know what information you are wanting, what’s helpful, what’s not.
I give fair warning here in the beginning. I am religious. I mentioned my kids earlier, trying to run out of the chapel while everyone else’s kids are well-behaved angels, remember? I will not shy away from God in my posts for fear that it could offend some. My family is based on my belief in God and I cannot separate the two. I do promise, however, that even if you don’t believe in God, the advice you find in this blog will be of help to you and your family.
Great blog. I relate to the kids climbing all over the place trying to escape. My husband escapes by sleeping through church. It is quieter and I don’t feel responsible for him because he is a grown up. Great Idea giving the kids PB&J when you can’t manage anything else. As my kids grew up, I always had it around for when they didn’t like what I fixed. I didn’t do special meals for whiners. Good luck with the blog
Thanks for the comments y’all! Nichole, cereal is on par with PBJ and I do that sometimes, too. Candace, sorry about the little confusion, I live in the same state as my husband, just not a state where we’d like to be! We are in Ohio and would like to be closer to family in either Utah or Texas. My preference would be Texas because that’s where my family is.
Awesome blog! I’m excited to read how you keep up your mommy esteem!
You are anything but Typical. I remember when you were a little girl……were you ever really? Yes you were and you have always had a gift for describing even the mundane in a way that made it sound incredible. I am proud of you and enjoy your blog.
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